May 5 (NFTY Part 3)

Mechina rolls around for the second time. I went on the RCVP trip, which let me meet those in my network and start forming connections. It was amazing to see how one of the members of my own network from the year before, Rio Blue, was now the head of the new group. I began to consider my own future in NFTY, something that occurs frequently. I spent the rest of Mechina meeting the amazing leaders that are in our movement, and seeing the incredible things that we are poised to achieve.

My first event of my senior year finally came. I had spent four weeks at camp, and spending the fifth there with NFTY was very good for me. What wasn't so good was what was going on at home. My mom had, halfway through the summer, been diagnosed with breast cancer. I had discovered this the day before I left for camp, so it was most definitely plaguing my mind. Having the chance to be with NFTY allowed me to ease my mind and to be comfortable with those around me. Frankly, I was comforted by the company of my best friends.

Two moments stick out for me as the turning points of Summer Kallah and my term as RCVP. The first was on Friday night, during services. My friends from school had just arrived and the weather outside featured a nasty thunderstorm. We cam together for the first time as a full community. I don't remember what the theme was for the service. It didn't even matter. We sang and prayed with an enthusiasm I don't think I have ever seen before or since. We enjoyed Shabbat with all of our hearts and were moved by the experience. It was a life-changing moment for everyone involved, and still gives me chills when I think about it.

The second moment came during Havdallah. I created a Jewish star with candles and allowed each person to light one, completing the star with light. I had no idea what would come from this. What resulted was a single photo of a illuminated Jewish Star that blazed across the wallpaper of every phone in NFTY CANOe. Many NFTYites still have this wallpaper for their phone, even now so many months later. This was an example of making something tangible, despite the loftiness of my religious duty.

As my senior year in NFTY progressed, I spent more of my time working beyond simply writing services. I tried to write blog posts to open the eyes of my region. I tried to incorporate Judaism into the lives of all NFTYites.

Now we come to the most significant time of my NFTY life: my second Convention. Before the event, I decided that I, after serving two years as the Chicago Area Region Religious and Cultural Vice President, I wanted to move up to the next level. I would run for the North American RCVP position. This is a position that many had encouraged me to pursue and that I knew I could do. I also knew that this would be my way of remaining in the movement for the benefit of both the organization and myself.

Once at Convention, it turned out I could relax a little bit (I was running unopposed), yet I also wanted to make sure that all of those in NFTY knew how much I loved it and how much I was willing to do to advance the movement.

Over the course of five days, I was involved in amazingly eye-opening services, educational programming, and intense fun. I also saw close to 800 Jews come together to rock out with our greatest Jewish musical artists. Nothing is more meaningful than rocking out while praising God.

At the end of the event, elections took place where I and three others (eventually four) were selected to be the next leaders of the North American Federation of Temple Youth. I am so excited to get the chance that so few have ever had, and to truly make the organization that I love so much a meaningful experience for all young Jews.

More later.

April 20 (NFTY part 2)

As I served on regional board, I was given eight amazing people with whom I grew. Sam and Joe were the two older guys who I looked up to and who taught me what it meant to be a leader, all while remaining "one of the guys." I had Sydney and Jordyn, who had an elegance to their leadership that I worked to emulate. The rest I will talk about later.

I ran through my junior year on board, learning how to lead and finding my way. I quickly made a close friendship with NFTY Northern's RCVP, Forrest Yesnes, never dreaming of where those two juniors would end up.

Soon it came time again for KOLBO. This time, I was seeking the presidency. I ran with every intention of winning. I had no idea in my head that defeat was even an option. Unfortunately, I had set myself up for bitter disappointment. I was defeated by someone who later became one of my best friends. I was forced to run for reelection to RCVP, a position that I still loved but had thought I had outgrown. It turns out I was wrong. Wrong about everything that weekend. Wrong about my role as president, wrong about my maturity, wrong about my calling. I thank God for unanswered prayers, and that I had the chance to wind up where I truly belong.

More later.

April 18 (NFTY part 1)

I had to say goodbye to my best friends yesterday. After four years of friendship, I had to walk away from the best thing that has ever happened to me.

Yesterday was my last day in NFTY-CAR. I, as a graduating senior, got my chance to walk around the senior circle and talk about how much NFTY as meant to me. I had both a thousand words to say, and yet was, and still am, speechless.

I wanted to take the time to debrief for myself. Eight grade KOLBO was the beginning. My first event was not the stereotypical bad first event. I actually had a lot of fun. I read Torah, which was an exciting chance to get immediately involved in the religious and cultural end of NFTY. Once the event was over, I felt good about NFTY, but not head over heels.

Now comes the regret. I didn't go to Summer Kallah or Kickoff my freshmen year. This, now, in retrospect, was a massive mistake on my part. I should have gone to accelerate my love of NFTY. I guess it doesn't really matter, because I got to go to 26 events, but I still wish I had gotten more involved more quickly.

For the next year, from one Winter Kallah to the next, I went and had fun. I liked the feeling of community that I had when I was there. I liked the friendships I was making.

I decided in the early days of 2009 that I wanted to go to Convention. It would be my first North American event, and I wanted to take my involvement to another level.

I look at my first Convention as the moment when I went from liking NFTY to the deep love that has consumed me for years. I had friends who were seniors, which, as a sophomore was pretty cool. I was actively getting involved in the politics of the event, and took a close look at the possibility of running for my own regional board.

At KOLBO 2009, I ran. I put myself out there in NFTY and began my love affair with the position of Religious and Cultural Vice President. During elections, I gave a speech that involved participation by the audience. Many still remember "Why Austin?" and some see that as the reason I was elected. It was definitely the first time I felt that I was a good speaker.

More is to come tomorrow.

April 2

Baseball season is finally here. I am so much happier when the Cubs are playing. I have an outlet for all of my emotions. Every emotion I could ever imagine comes through:

Happiness: Nothing shows happiness quite like flying the big blue W over Wrigley Field after a win.

Frustration: When the Cubs walk in a run (which they are notorious for doing) it is amazing that I don't put my foot through the TV.

Sadness: Knowing that October very well may come and leave the Cubs behind. Again.

Hope: Maybe this will be our year. And if anyone says otherwise, just keep wishing.

Jealousy: The Yankees and their 27 championships. That is frustrating. Can't they share some of those?

Contentment: Not that I enjoy seeing other people suffer, but seeing the Twins and whoever is playing the White Sox win gives me a nice feeling.

As the Cubs begin their year, we can only hope that this is our year. I will, however, follow every game and be sure to keep the hope alive. Gotta love baseball season.

March 21

Running has been my outlet. I began running a week ago, doing it as a way to clear my head during stressful times such as these, as well as to lose a few of the pounds I gained during the less-than-active months of winter.

What I didn't realize was how good I would feel running. I feel as though I am working on something much bigger than just my cardiovascular health. During my runs, I am able to digest my day, because I run right after school. I am able to really think about what has gone on over the course of my school day, and be prepared to go into the night's worth of homework well rested. I am able to become so physically exhausted that I don't think I can go any farther, and yet I get on it and keep on going.

Running is really just a symbol for the rest of my life. When I run, I am allowing myself to get into a mental and physical state of drive, yet peace. I am in the zone, ready to keep going, yet all I am focused on is where I am going. I run most often without a set destination, but rather for the simple enjoyment of hitting the road. I change it up every day, so that I don't become bored with my surroundings.

So far, I have ran on seven days. I have seen some amazing things. Today, I saw a hawk, flying from light post to light post. The grace and beautify of the animal was amazing, and I wanted to be able to run and catch up to it. I can't believe all of the amazing things I see along my path, and I'm glad I have the chance to take these moments to see them.

As I run through my life, I am going to be faced with a lot of hard roads. Sometimes there will be a sidewalk, sometimes I'll have to off-road it. Sometimes I will be alone, and sometimes there will be others running nearby. It will never be easy to go for a run, but it will always make me a better person to kick it into gear, and push myself beyond my limit.

March 10th

We had a debate today in AP Psychology. Interestingly enough, I probably learn more in that class than any other. The reason for that is because, unlike my other classes, my teacher is less focused on "sticking to the curriculum," and instead focuses on true comprehension of the subject. We do hands-on activities, watch pertinent videos, and engage in interesting discussions.

Today, we had a fairly heated discussion. We were talking about the development of moral reasoning in human development. We were presented with a dilemma: If presented with the opportunity to cheat on a test and not get caught, would you do it?

I would say the class was split 25/25/50. 25% of the class were hard-core defenders of not cheating. They thought it was wrong to do, and was an unfair way to take advantage of the situation. Another 25% thought that it was there for the taking, and that it was only being resourceful to cheat, so go right ahead. The remaining 50% were those who were relatively undecided on the topic, and had important views in both directions.

I was one of those who said that I wouldn't cheat. I made a comment about how, in 10 years, nobody will care how you did on any test, or what your GPA was, but what will matter is the type of person that you became. I said that all of our actions create who we are as people, and I wouldn't cheat, because it is the wrong way to define myself as a person.

As the debate continued, one of my classmates made a comment that came off as a little bit hostile. He said that it was ridiculous that people were saying they wouldn't cheat because, if presented with the opportunity to do so and not get caught "everyone would cheat." I instantly challenged him, asking whether that was just him impressing his own personal feelings on the entire class. He was adamant in saying that we were not being honest with ourselves or the class in our answers of morality.

Here is where my problem comes in. It is vastly inappropriate to say that, because I feel a certain way, it is impossible for anyone else to feel differently, unless they are either lying or something is wrong with them. I don't think it is fair for one person to say that the moral decisions of another are wrong for being "too right", even if it may be less than realistic, or less than the norm.

I understand that, if you are not going to get caught, there are a great many people who would be willing to forgo honesty in favor of advantage. I refuse to accept, though, that I or any of my fellow classmates are wrong for choosing otherwise.

The fact that we were having a moral discussion in school was amazing. It needs to happen more often. But to do so, everyone needs to know how to do so in a way that will not insult or isolate others. That is not what a discussion is about.

March 1

On Saturday, my brother stood before the entire congregation and read from the Torah for the first time. He became a Bar Mitzvah, and began his life as a Jewish adult.

I am exceptionally proud of the job that he did. He read with great pride, respect, and religious enthusiasm. It is very inspiring to see such a young person come forward and do such great things when it comes to speaking from his heart, all while opening the hearts of those who love him.

Whenever someone in NFTY is elected to a regional board position, one of the first things they are told is to find their successor. I have found one of mine. He is my brother. He may not be a regional board member, or he may be. But he will be a leader in the Jewish movement. I can know with certainty and hope that I will have someone behind me who will do amazing things and help to make this world a better place.

This is my wish for Logan. May he have everything he ever wants, and yet also struggle with life's important questions.