Forgiveness

With the passing of Yom Kippur, the idea of forgiveness is one that has rattled around inside my head for a while. I am constantly puzzled by one thought: I apologize for things and strive to be better, yet I feel like I am inevitably going to make mistakes. These mistakes sometimes happen so quickly, I question whether or not I was really making an attempt to change. Even though I knew I wanted to be better, making a life change is a difficult thing to do.

Forgiveness is something that I struggle with. I have no problem forgiving others. I readily accept apologies that people give me, because I believe everyone is entitled to a second chance. But the hardest thing is to ask forgiveness; it is not easy to say to someone "I screwed up, please forgive me for it."

The person who is most often the hardest to forgive is yourself. So often, it is easy to beat yourself up for mistakes, and to make it impossible to get past our faults. I find it frequently difficult for me to stop thinking about mistakes I make and to move on with my actions.

Being able to admit that we mess up is most of the battle. I don't think anyone expects us to be able to fix our problems at the snap of fingers. I think it is OK for us to screw up. Simply being able to stand up, apologize for our mistakes, and understand how to attempt to be better is what makes it OK.

Being able to look within ourselves is a difficult task, but attempting, making the effort, is what makes us into the people we hope to be.