Pushing it around

The topic of bullying has taken the country by storm in the past few months. Almost every school, youth group, club, and social organization has discussed the numerous deaths this year due to bullying related incidents, many because of homosexuality.
This past weekend, I participated in a program through my youth group discussing bullying and what forms it takes, along with many ideas about how it happens, why it happens, and how best to stop it. These experiences inspired me to write down my thoughts from the conversation in a post.

First of all, bullying has evolved as I have gotten older. It used to be a physical thing, making one kid actually feel physically intimidated by another. One kid was bigger, thus better at football, thus the kid who could exert influence over anyone else. Now, bullying isn't even seen through the term "bullying". Instead, teasing, harassment, hazing, and a plethora of other synonyms pepper society. All in all, the terms may change but the feelings are the same: the horrible feeling of not being loved, not being accepted, and not being good enough.

Whether or not it was recent or more in the past, everyone has been on either the giving end or receiving end of bullying at some point in their lives. The fact that it is so common should, in theory, lead to its demise. It is not, however, so easy to buck the trend and to get over the social tendency to make other feel bad in favor of a more positive environment. Unfortunately, all too often people see these types of acts as needing vengeance, and therefore pay it forward in a negative way, rather than doing the right thing and braking the chain.

The easiest type of bullying to do and the hardest to break is the act of doing nothing. When we sit back and let other people get bullied or harassed, we are just as guilty of the pain that that person suffers as the person actually doing the bullying. It isn't easy to stand up to someone who is tormenting someone else. There is a fear sometimes that the person will turn their attack on you, instead of the original target. Despite this, we need to be the bigger person in these situations and take a stand against those who attempt to break down the community that we try so hard to build up.

It is each of our jobs to stop this behavior in its tracks. No longer is it acceptable to stand idly by and watch others be put down, hurt, and emotionally beaten for any reason at all, whether it be because of race, sexual orientation, religious view, or simply who they are and what they enjoy doing. We are the generation that will stop this sort of behavior and instead build communities that encourage everyone to become better, to live together happily and to be truly happy. This might sound idealistic, but if we don't try to make ideal situations realities, the only one who we are beating is ourselves.

Medium is the Message

I was recently watching a press conference after a baseball game. The game was between the Phillies and the Giants, and was during the National League Championship Series, so the expected viewership was high. During the conference, Jimmy Rollins of the Phillies was talking. In front of him sat two Gatorade bottles and a Gatorade paper cup. All of the objects were facing forward in a way that clearly depicted the world-famous G across the TV screens all across the country.
This blatant form of advertising is just one example of the thousands of areas in which we see similar product placement and ad manipulation. In the movie the social network, products ranging from Jose Cuervo to Mountain Dew, Gap to Under Armour ran rampant, displayed clear enough to see, yet so hidden that nobody would actually remember seeing.
Media has the ability to advertise without letting on to the viewer that they are being played. I learned in my Media Analysis class that we, as consumers, are most susceptible to advertising when we are least paying attention to it.
I personally feel as if I have been hoodwinked. I am just starting to notice all of the placed ads in the media that I consume, and am realizing that it has been going on forever, and that I was never noticing it because I wasn't truly paying attention.
Being able to look objectively at what we are seeing a truly taking it all into account when viewing is vitally important. It is so easy for us to be manipulated by advertising when we are oblivious to it, but the instant we open our eyes, the better equipped we are to avoid being played. Rather than being a passive watcher or viewer, become more active in analyzing what we are seeing.
This extends beyond simply the world of advertising. In fact, advertising is a depiction of what is really going on around us. There are so many times that we go through life with our heads down, only seeing what we are looking for. Stopping at taking in everything around us will not only allow us to have a better understanding of what is happening, but also a better appreciation for it.

My lasting legacy

This past weekend, I attended NFTY Northern's Fall Kallah. At the even, six of the best teen leaders Judaism has to offer led a program asking what we wanted our legacy to be. We discussed what the word meant and even some ways to attain one.

As much as I hate to say it, I won't be in NFTY forever. The end of the road is near for me. I will, at some point not too far away, have to leave the organization and move forward with my life. I will move on, as will NFTY. While this is happening, though, I am thinking of what I will leave to it? Will I be remembered for the hours I put into the organization? Will I even want to be?

My biggest legacy came, I believe, at Summmer kallah in August. At the event, after one of my services that I had written and led, I had two participants come up to me and say that they wanted to become RCVPs because I had inspired them. They wanted to follow in my footsteps and do what I had been doing for over a year.

Inspiration is the place where I want to leave my legacy. It is my job to help those leaders come up behind me and take my place when I can no longer lead myself. It is my duty to give my heart and soul to the members of my region to hopefully show them how much I care about them, about the movement, and about Judaism as a whole, in the hopes of creating an environment that will foster their growth to be the next leaders.

I also believe that it is my job to fix the problems that I see. We are, as it is commonly explained, a movement, and therefore are constantly looking to move our organization forward in a positive direction. We must continue to grow and develop ourselves so that we do not become stale. I want to make the changes that I see necessary to the motion of our movement so that it can be a stronger, healthier, more vibrant youth group for those to come. This is not making change just for the sake of making change. It is, rather, the ability to look at the way in which we conduct ourselves and improve the areas that we see need a little work. I want to be able to look back and say I did what was best for NFTY and helped it reach its best.

To those NFTY freshmen, sophomores, and juniors, I hope you see how much passion I have for our organization. I hope you see how much I want to do well for it, and for all of you. And I hope you see that I will need someone to be there for NFTY when I can't anymore. Let it be you.

To those NFTY seniors, it is our time to be the transitional leaders. We need to lead, and let others do so. We need to stand up and be in front, yet also have the ability to train our successor. And we need to continue to put everything we have into the youth group we have always loved.

Remove the Stumbling block

You just won the division and are headed to the playoffs for the first time in your career. What are you going to do now?
For most players the answer would be to go into the clubhouse and celebrate with your friends. Champagne will be flowing and the festivities will continue for the remainder of the night.
This was not the case for Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers. After his team clinched a playoff berth, something that is owed to the masterful performance of Hamilton, he chose to skip the post-game elation and instead go with members of the opposing team to discuss his faith with the Oakland fans, a discussion that Hamilton had committed to ahead of time.
Hamilton is a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. After years of addiction and abuse to himself, he finally got clean through religion, throwing himself completely into his own personal faith.
When the idea of celebratory alcohol came up, Hamilton chose to avoid temptation and instead share his faith, the thing that had allowed him to get past that part of his life.
It would have been easy to go to the clubhouse. It would have been easy to grab a bottle and cover his teammates. It would have been easy to be doused in champagne by others. But, most importantly, it would have been easy to relapse and get deep into trouble that he had worked so hard to get himself away from.
Having the courage to admit that something that you want to do may bring about a problem is admirable. Having the ability to avoid situations that will cause events that may harm you takes an incredible amount of maturity and self-respect.
Hamilton's ability to use spirituality and faith to keep his life on track makes him one of my biggest heroes. I have so much respect and admiration for the experiences that he has endured, and the ability for him to take responsibility for his actions and learn from them makes him the type of individual who is a good role model for not only baseball fans, but all people.

Forgiveness

With the passing of Yom Kippur, the idea of forgiveness is one that has rattled around inside my head for a while. I am constantly puzzled by one thought: I apologize for things and strive to be better, yet I feel like I am inevitably going to make mistakes. These mistakes sometimes happen so quickly, I question whether or not I was really making an attempt to change. Even though I knew I wanted to be better, making a life change is a difficult thing to do.

Forgiveness is something that I struggle with. I have no problem forgiving others. I readily accept apologies that people give me, because I believe everyone is entitled to a second chance. But the hardest thing is to ask forgiveness; it is not easy to say to someone "I screwed up, please forgive me for it."

The person who is most often the hardest to forgive is yourself. So often, it is easy to beat yourself up for mistakes, and to make it impossible to get past our faults. I find it frequently difficult for me to stop thinking about mistakes I make and to move on with my actions.

Being able to admit that we mess up is most of the battle. I don't think anyone expects us to be able to fix our problems at the snap of fingers. I think it is OK for us to screw up. Simply being able to stand up, apologize for our mistakes, and understand how to attempt to be better is what makes it OK.

Being able to look within ourselves is a difficult task, but attempting, making the effort, is what makes us into the people we hope to be.

We remember

Nine years have passed since the attacks on September 11th. Nine years of mourning, of fighting back, of patriotism. Since that day, we have gone to war with two countries to try and take back what we lost on that day. One thing we can never get back, though, are those loved ones who died.
Many people think that, now, nine years later, going to war was a mistake. But defending this country is something that can never be wrong. The way in which we do it may be flawed, but defending ourselves against those who would see our destruction will never be wrong. It is important to remember what we are fighting for, and to give constant and unending support to those who are making sacrifices for our well-being.
Now, nine years later, the time has come to move forward. Not move on; we can never completely move on from this. Instead, we must begin to change the way we think and feel.
Coinciding with the anniversary of September 11th were two events. The first event is the debate over the infamous "Ground Zero Mosque". People are in an uproar about a group of Muslims who are attempting to open a cultural center two blocks away from ground zero. The protest has been immense, and a debate has been going on for weeks.
We need to stop debating this. If the group owns the land, they are entitled to build their cultural center on this place. Just because the terrorists who were involved in the September 11th events were Muslims does not mean all of Islam is a group of terrorists. We have to stop our ignorance. We can no longer be prejudice against people because we choose not to understand their society and culture. It is our obligation to better understand these people and begin to relate to their culture.
Another situation has dominated our news recently. A man in Florida had planned a Quran burning to commemorate the date of 9/11. He and his church congregation thought that this was a way to remember that day.
To be perfectly clear, this behavior is unacceptable. To use destruction of an important, holy object to remember those lost is an insult to the lives that were taken. Hatred is not an acceptable or tolerable way to remember others, for it is that very hatred that brought about the attack in the first place.
One of the biggest problems with this situation is that we are lumping people together. We are making the assumption that because a few Muslim extremists did a horrible thing, that must mean all of Islam is a religion full of terrorists and America-haters. This is, at its most basic, a ridiculous assumption. We cannot overlook the fact that the "bad Muslims" are a small group within an overall peaceful religion. This assumption is on par with thinking that, because the Ku Klux Klan members are technically "White Christians" that all white Christians must be bad people. In truth, the KKK is a small group of protestants who are taking the horrible actions that the KKK does. Even more important, the KKK hates and targets Catholics, another sect of the same basic religion. This is the same way for jihadist Muslims. They killed other Muslims during the 9/11 attacks. How can we say, therefore, that we can never forget the lives that were lost, and yet we forget that it was not simply white Americans who died that day.
This all being said, we now have an obligation. We have an obligation to change the way we think about others. We have an obligation to buck our ignorance and get better at accepting others. And we have an obligation to move our world toward peace.


זכרונם לברכה
May their memories be for a blessing.

Changing it up

As school gets started, we all get into a groove. We wake up, we go to school or to work, we learn or work all day, we get home, do our homework, eat something, go to sleep and begin again the next morning. It can get rather monotonous day after day of the same basic schedule every day.

Even the people we interact with can become stale. Seeing the same people in the morning, the same people at lunch, the same people in the evening. It can get rather tedious.

This was happening to me today. It was a rather boring Monday, and everyone was going about their regular week. As I was walking to my lunch table, I saw a member of the staff at my school. I know her from around the building, and she is always friendly, but today she looked a little down. As I past her, I stopped and asked her how her weekend was.

Instantly, her face lit up and she smiled. She replied that she had had a nice weekend but it was short and asked me how my weekend had been.

This whole interaction took less than 20 seconds. There were no insightful conversations, no deep intellectual thoughts. But it was my favorite part of the day.

There is a concept that I learned in my time on youth group board called disrupting the pattern. This exercise teaches me to do things that one does not encounter on a regular basis to make some one's life a little nicer.

This experience with the staffer at school is a perfect example of this. I disrupted her monotonous routine by simply stopping and giving her the time of day. In truth, I did it for selfish reasons: It makes me feel as good to see someone else feel better as it does for them to feel good in the first place. But being able to make this woman's day a little more meaningful helped her to feel like she mattered to someone, and helped me to feel like I've made someone feel important to me.

So tomorrow, do something small to disrupt some one's monotony. Do something, even the most minuscule of actions to make someone feel good about themselves. Hopefully, the same will happen to you.