Monday, December 31, 2012

December 31st. The New Beginning

It has been several months since I last wrote a post for the blog that really started my writing. I worked on this site for two strong years before taking almost a full year off. And this is my post to say that I’m back. For a long time, I was trying to post both a blog and a newspaper column with the IDS, my school newspaper. That was exhausting. I ran out of gas for writing. I wasn’t able to do all of what I wanted, and this was the first thing I cut. But I came to realize, the more time I spent away from my own personal writing, the more I missed it. This site is not for the purpose of writing for a specific audience. I lost sight of that for a while. I was writing for the way that people would interact with my words or my thoughts. I was engaging in a form of self-censorship. I wasn’t staying true to what I really wanted to say. Now, though, I need this blog. I need a place where I am free of editors, of word-counts, of suggested topics. I need a place where I can not only post my thoughts, but strengthen them as well. Because as my fingers type out the words running through my head, my mind tackles the issues that I have been fighting to get my head around in the first place. The truth of the matter is that I love to write. My life goal is to write a book. I have begun that process, and along the way I realized that I was missing a way to interact with myself. I had tried several different ways of expressing myself, anywhere from keeping a daily journal of my thoughts to having people with whom I confided in. I quickly realized, though, that the best place to do my writing was actually right here, on this blog, where I started. So for the next year, I am going to return to the writing that started me off. I am going to post once a week, every Sunday, and continue to develop my writing skill, as well as the way that I interact with my own thoughts and emotions. Along the way, I’m not going to write for anyone but me. Anyone who wants to read, I encourage you to do so, and I hope that you will approach me with any comments or critiques that you may have. I hope that the community around me might be able to grow from my experience. But first and foremost I’m going to post what matters to me, and I’m going to write to become a better person. I’ve always stayed away from making New Year’s resolutions, because I believe that it is my job to be getting better every day, not just on the first day of every year. But this, my blog, the site of my deepest thinking, is where I am going to start again, this year, to try to grow by thinking, writing, and assessing exactly who I am, and who I want to be. Let’s see where I go.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Baseball off paper

Going into this baseball season, more than any before, Sabermetrics were the hot topic of conversation. New technology exists that allows teams to analyze so many different facets of the game that nothing is left up to chance. From pitch location, hitting directional splits, and defensive positioning catered to each batter, men with laptops have just as much sway in the clubhouse as do men with gloves and bats. The Houston Astros made a big leap in this area of the game, hiring a former rocket scientist to serve as “Director of Decision Sciences.” This position basically requires the analysis of statistics and trending geometrics to determine who should be playing different positions at any given time. Two players in particular this season came up early that were about to be hurt by their statistical trends: Derek Jeter and David Wright. Both appeared to be downward tracking in their careers, Jeter because of age and Wright because he simply plateaued too early, and was preparing for a downturn in his career numbers. Well into the second month of the season, baseball scientists are looking pretty dumb. Jeter is leading a struggling Yankees team and hitting for the third best average in the American League, while Wright is leading the batting race, sitting right at around .400. What is it, then, that allowed to two New York baseball team leaders to make such big numbers in the first quarter of the season when expectations were so low? No matter how accurate the statistics are, there is one thing that can never be truly quantified on the diamond, and that is heart. These two, and plenty of others, play with more heart than their earlier statistics may show, and don’t’ seem to mind having a deck seemingly stacked against them. If baseball was simply based on statistics, where the more likely event always occurred and no mystifying acts of heroism occurred, fans would most definitely lose interest, and quickly. It isn’t in the ability to predict what will occur that makes baseball so moving. It is the surprise, the ache of rooting for your team, the elation at a home run, the disgust at a loss, and the emotions that come with running as hard, pitching as fast, and simply playing as enthusiastically as is possible. It isn’t about telling me how well they are going to do, but in actually seeing it happen that makes the game of baseball so thrilling. So Sabermetrics can take a backseat to pure, unadulterated play.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Entering the Box

Throughout my life, I have come to understand what “God” means to me in a variety of different ways and a variety of different times. I would go so far as to say no year went by when my perception of God remained the same from the year before. I think this is a fairly common thing because I believe that a great many people have experiences throughout their life that change their perspective, whether it be because God feels particularly close, particularly distant, or anywhere in between.

In recent years, however, I have been intentionally pursuing opportunities that cause me to challenge my belief in God. I feel, to some extent, that my ideas along this path will be stronger if they can stand up to the challenge of disbelief, the challenge of being challenged.

Since I joined NFTY and began my first term as Religious and Cultural Vice President, I found that I wanted to be able to form some form of connection with God, because I felt an obligation to be able to have a personal understanding if I was going to be any form of spiritual leader.

Along my three terms, I have changed my views, changed my understanding, and changed my perception of God multiple times. But one of the things that I learned was to “hide my belief” in different places. When I say hide my belief, I mean that I would find things that inspired me, that drove me to have a better understanding on myself and my perception of God, and to save those for another time when I may be less firm in my faith.

The strongest of these items is the book “Have a Little Faith,” by Mitch Albom. This book is one that, whenever I feel distant from God and from my understanding of personal faith, I crack out my copy, spend a two-day period fully engrossed, and come out the other end feeling spiritually rejuvenated. Every time I read the book, I take something different out of it. But, at the same time, I believe that this book is a way in which I stay anchored, grounded, and reverent of my faith.

The behind-the-scenes reason for this blog post is that the documentary “God in the Box” is being shown tonight at Indiana University. I will be in attendance. This will be the second time I will be viewing it. The first time, I was at my home away from home, the URJ Kutz Camp. The camp staff brought in Nathan Lang, the director and creator of the film, to show it and discuss it. Over the course of the film, my perception of God was thrown totally to the wind, and I was forced to come to terms with how my beliefs fit in with the information I was getting. Does my belief in God stand true because of what I am hearing? What do I do if I want to change my view on God? How do I fit into my Jewish community if my views change?

As a person who is looking to give my entire life to religious practice and leadership, God is an important part of my future. So having some form of understanding of my personal spirituality is pretty important. I know Rabbis who are pretty set in their unwavering belief in God. I know some who do not necessarily even believe in God. Yet, even disbelief is a choice to believe in something.

In viewing this film tonight, I know that I am taking where I am as a believer and going to come out differently. And, frankly, I’m pretty excited about it. I can’t wait to see how my belief is adapted to fit my new understanding. Even though I have seen the film before, I am a different version of myself from the one that I was when I saw it the first time, and I’m sure there will be a whole new version of myself on the other side.

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Heretic and Innovator

I haven’t blogged in several weeks, which is most likely because of the number of transitions going on in my life. With my involvement with NFTY changing and eventually dispersing, I have had to come up with new ideas for what my Jewish and secular leadership is going to look like in the coming years.

Part of this involved reading and writing an incredible amount. The topics dealt with a little bit of spirituality, a little bit of philosophy, and a little bit of leadership self-help material. Overall, I began writing my own ideas down, and creating a new sense of what it means to lead, what it means to follow, and what it means to make a difference in the world.

In my Jewish History class, I came to an interesting realization: most of the people we were studying created their greatest works or contributions to society in the last half of their lives. Whatever the reason for our studying them, it had something to do with what they did at the end, rather than at the beginning. I think this was startling because I would most definitely prefer to be in the first half of my life, and by a wide margin. That being said, I refuse to believe that everything I do from this point until I’m a “mature adult with life experience” will but useless.

I am calling for more action and seriousness put toward people of younger ages. Better yet, I’m calling for the elimination of age from discussions regarding leadership. It shouldn’t really matter how old someone is in terms of their ability to lead, inspire, or think. Whether it be direct campaigns for social justice, works of literary brilliance or anything else for that matter, age should not be anything short of a statistic.

Another element of my gleanings has to do with the boxes we create to limit our creativity. This is, in short, the only way that we are able to process our thinking, because without some form of order, we would have very little ability to focus. That being said, we are cramping our own style. The ones that we call heretics shouldn’t be seen as crazy. When the heretic becomes the innovator, we know that we are creating an environment that is open and willing to change with the times.

Changing the culture of an environment is the only way to change how things are done. Without some form of shift, there is no way that we can actually change the end result, only the way that we get there. Being willing to change the culture of your surroundings, though, requires not only the vision to make it happen, but also the intentionality associated with making a decision. You can’t change a cultural mindset by accident. You have to do it with a purpose, which necessitates leadership, bravery, and innovation.

I don’t know what my life is going to look like a year from now, but I refuse to let my surroundings continue to be imperfect if I have the means to do something about it. I am willing to sound like a heretic for the time being, if that means that with it will come a cultural shift and, one day, the acceptance of change as not a scary negative, but rather a necessary positive.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Making the Cut

I wonder if a driving instructor’s son is petrified of getting in the car with his friends. If so, I know how he feels.

Going to school five hours away from home required me to find a new place to get a haircut. This being the first time I was away from my barber/father for an extended period of time. I went into downtown Bloomington and found a place that had the look and feel of an authentic barbershop. My dad even did the work of bringing in free clippers to give to the man, so that my haircuts would come for free for a little while.

The first time I went, the man was nice, gave me a free haircut, and wished me a good few weeks until I came back next time. With how often I was able to go home first semester, I only went in one time during the first four months of school. Second semester, though, I went a full month before cracking and deciding to make an appointment. When I walked in, though, I found that the old man had retired. In his place was a young, bleach-blonde kid, who was dressed more like a frat boy than the hair-sculptors that I was accustomed to.

I sat in the chair and told the guy what I wanted. I should have known how the rest of the experience would go when he asked me “So you want a 1 guard along the back?” I guess I am cursed with having a trainer and technical expert as a father, because I know that no respectable barber would ask the question like that.

When the dust had settled, I think I walked away with a pretty good haircut. Was it as good as what I would have gotten from my father? Of course not. But it will most definitely do for the next few weeks. Plus, the barber had a good attitude, and I enjoyed making small talk, which is a very different experience when you don’t have to live under the same roof as the guy.

When the cut was over, I had to do something I’ve never done before: I had to actually reach for my wallet. The haircut was reasonably affordable, but the thought of paying for a haircut was definitely not one that I had ever considered.

Overall, the barbershop that I went to did an excellent job of attempting to keep up with my exceptional expectations. It was a enjoyable time, and definitely the second best option to my own basement.

End result: I’m waiting until I go home for the next one.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Israel at home

Since the creation of this blog, the background cover art has depicted an American flag and an Israeli flag on the backdrop of Capital Hill. I thought, at the time, this was appropriate because my blog was intended to share my perspective as both an American and a Jew.

This week, I had the beautiful opportunity to travel to Israel as a delegate for Netzer Veida. It was my first experience in Israel, after having so much education and programming thrown at me on the country. I had heard so much of other’s opinions, and I was finally getting the chance to develop my own.

I experienced four different cities, many tourist attractions, holy sites, and conference rooms. I visited museums, visited museums, heard speakers, and took pictures. For ten spectacular days, I got the chance to create a very person connection with the Jewish homeland.

Now that I am home, my goal is to dissect what Israel means to me. By no means do I think the answer is fixed; I changed my view a thousand times before I even touched the holy ground. Yet it is important for me to understand what I am thinking and feeling.

I have heard all kinds of people come back from Israel trips and moan about having to live in America. They miss Israel, want to live there, want that culture. I wasn’t sure if I would have the same feelings when I came back. Now that I have been there and back, I can safely say I don’t want to live in Israel. That isn’t to say I didn’t enjoy my time there, or don’t love Israel and what it stands for. But I also very much enjoy and love the country that I currently reside in. I have an incredible degree of patriotism and love for the United States, and I cherish the opportunity to live here.

One of the best parts of Israel was having a community in which Judaism is the norm, rather than the exception. That being said, America offers me the opportunity to live a Jewish life alongside those like and unlike me. I commented on my trip that if all Jews move to Israel, we will be left with a very ignorant diaspora. I want to be a part of the education of America about what Jewish culture looks like and feels like.

Now I started this blog with a conversation about my choice in cover art. I did this because I think that photo best summarizes my view on Israel. I have a strong and deep place in my heart for both Israel and America. I feel a need to advocate on behalf of both of my countries. Yet, as I mentioned before, the backdrop is the American Capital Hill. To me, this means that my advocacy for Israel must come from my home, from America, as a form of diaspora-based Zionism.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Theo the Hero

If the Cubs are ever going to break their streak of ineptitude, I think they have found the man to do it. Theo Epstein has taken the helm of the Loveable Losers and has totally revamped the way the team addresses the offseason, making small farm-team acquisitions to strengthen the future, rather than throwing large sums of money at players like Prince Fielder or Albert Pujols.

His offseason strategy, though, is not what makes me think he can be the one to end the curse. What really convinces me is the fact that we have a Jewish guy leading the team, one that, in my eyes, epitomizes Jewish sports fandom.

Why are the Cubs the definition of a Jewish sports team? First of all, the Cubs are one of the oldest teams in the league, dating way back to the days of being called the Black Stockings. The longevity of both the Chicago baseball franchise as well as the Jewish faith forms a bond that literally runs deep.

Additionally, there is a running joke that says that the description of all Jewish holidays is “they tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.” This goes hand in hand with the Cubs, as they have spent over a century being targeted and beaten by others. The only difference is that the Cubs have yet to have their big vanquishing of evil. They have yet to climb the mountain and demonstrate their ability to prevail over every foe. Although that is what Theo is for.

Finally, and most importantly, there is the single most significant ingredient in both being Jewish and being a Cubs fan. I speak from experience, as someone who is constantly being asked about my spiritual customs, as well as my baseball ideology. That component is faith. It takes a supreme act of faith to be a Cubs fan, and to continue to rest our hopes on the idea of “Next year,” with no guarantees that that will ever come to fruition. Yet any native of Chicago will tell you that the livelihood of the city rests within the outcome at Wrigley Field.

Now, though, comes the eternal question: what will make next year any different than any other? Mah nishtana ha shavua ha ze mi col halelot? (see what I did there? :)) The answer is Theo Epstein. If the name didn’t give it away, Theo is a Member of the Tribe and ready to take the league by storm with his specialized revamping of an organization. He is willing to play the game differently, to create a unit of guys on the field built differently than any of the other 29 they will compete against, and to tolerate criticism in the hopes for results. But, most importantly, he is Jewish.

The bringing together of baseball’s top Jewish executive to the Chosen Team will eventually lead to victory, and to the deliverance to The Promised Land. Now, I have just one recommendation for Mr. Epstein: Let the Jews stay in the office and off the field. There aren’t 9 players in the league who are Jewish AND talented. So let The Chosen Team have a couple of the non-believers on the team, just as a form of interfaith experience.

God bless the Chicago Cubs.